plants

to defend myself against arguments who say my mom raised me- it's my responsibility to do better if i have a problem with the way she raised me. i didn't plan on having a selfish individual raise me. in fact- i'm pretty sure that's why my grandparents stepped in to help her raise my brother and i. they realized she wasn't mature enough to handle the responsibility of being a mother to THREE KIDS- so they let my brother and i live with them for at least probably around 5 years (i'm not sure of the exact time). oh! but the child who DID live with my mom did better than my brother and i! she only got pregnant at 12! *sarcasm* shit.. i'm not even sure i had my first period when i was 12.. i don't think i did. that's my mom's great parenting skills for ya.. she literally let my sister run the streets. i realize it's my responsibility to do better but i'm pretty sure that i DO remember thinking before i boarded the plane to new york how no one cared what happened to me anyway if something bad happened. call me "ungrateful" or wtf you need to try to make yourself look like a good person in front of your in-laws but after going through the shit i went through in life- if you end up anywhere better than i did.. maybe i'll consider thinking you're a good person. ALL people have DIFFERENT circumstances in life. "i know you like to think your shit don't stank.. but lean a little bit closer.. roses really smell like poo oo oo.." i didn't mean to blame only my mom for how i got raised but if you think about it.. parents are the first thing kids become familiar with, so they're influenced by them. i did realize a lot of the shit i grew up hearing was wrong (they were close-minded and ignorant), so i chose to do the opposite. kids are like plants.. watered by people who influence and care about them. my grandparents realized this- that's why they stepped in to assist my mom (who was clearly not capable of responsibly raising THREE lives). trust me.. EVERYTHING i do is pretty much because i know my mom wouldn't do it. it's gotten me this far in life. she's basically a role model of what to avoid doing/becoming. people can try to say that i'm "immature" or whatever they want for blaming my mom but at least i know i can say for sure that she certainly didn't help me become a better person.. IF she did- it was because my grandma blackmailed her into doing it. pretty sad that your own parent has to blackmail you into being a responsible person.